Monday, November 28, 2011

Hot Mama

Alright, I've been a Love Bite's groupie for quite awhile now and have always looked forward to new Love Bite's blog entries. I have always wanted you guys to have a single mom's perspective on the whole dating/relationship thing so maybe I can offer that? I've had an awful lot of dating and relationship experience these last few years, I still believe in "the one" and I'm still looking or waiting... So below is a bit I wrote to explain where I'm coming from.

I was single for about 2 1/2 years. No boyfriends, nothing. I guess after awhile ago, I forgot how great it was having someone around and a part of my life. Then one day I'd had enough. I didn't have any guy friends that I was interested in, I was a stay at home mom and I turned to internet dating sites. I met one guy and knew from that start it wasn't right. We never spoke again. I got a couple emails from another guy and we moved quickly to talking on the phone, two days later we met. He wasn't the most attractive guy, but we had a good time and the conversation was great. So at the end of the date we kissed and it was amazing... we saw each other every couple days for the next three months, but there was the problem, I have kids and they are a huge part of my world. He thought that he was supposed to be top priority.

He wasn't right for me, and some part of me knew that from the beginning. I never had the urge for him to meet my kids even as we got closer and more intimate. I didn't see a future in it, and I don't believe he saw himself as being a part of my kid's lives. Though I do know he was in love with me, it was a selfish love where he wanted me all to himself and when I started noticing that I felt suffocated. He was 'in love' with me but not loving me as a person, a mother. I also worked full time and had other relationships that were important to me. Time apart is important, but it is a balancing act of the right amount of time. I ended the relationship because of how he reacted to the time apart and me explaining how I felt.

It was ironic, the night I ended it was a day before Valentine's day. I had gotten a babysitter for the night because everyone was busy Valentine's night. He came over all depressed because we hadn't seen each other in nine days, though we had talked twice a day and texted (depressed, seriously????) I thought it was ridiculous, we talked about it and I figured we could still have a good night. I'd already paid my babysitter! So he was still all upset about it and decided to leave, I decided to use my favorite cliche: "It's not you, it's me," and then I explained how I just wasn't ready for that kind of relationship (ya, the crazy kind where a guy is obsessed and calls/texts 20 times a day!) He left, and I called up some friends to go out. And that night starts the next chapter..

Hot Mama - 2nd Love Bites Guest Writer

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