The Pickup Artist

Why do most men fail miserably when it comes to approaching attractive women? Most of the time, it's because they never learned how to stand out from the crowd when a hundred other guys are trying to do the same thing. Want the edge you need to make her notice you instead of them... without using lame lines or cheap come-ons? Here are the top 10 ways to make it happen:

1. Take control
No doubt about it... the first thing an attractive woman will do when you approach her is see if she can control and intimidate you. The second thing she'll do is ignore you when she finds out that she can. But use Cocky and Funny, show confidence, use the right body language, etc., and she'll quickly notice you because YOU are taking control. Sure, this confuses her, but it also gets her attention by transmitting a message loud and clear: "I'm the one who's in charge. Feel free to come along if you want." Communicate that to a woman, and she'll see right away that you're different than 99.99% of other guys. She'll immediately respect you and want to know more about you. In other words, she'll feel ATTRACTION for you -- and as you know, that's what everything I teach is all about.

2. Master your body language
This is really basic, 101 stuff, but it's huge. I've said it a million times: when you're approaching a woman, your body language is more important than the words you use. Most men use submissive, apologetic body language and voice tones that look as if they're begging and pleading with a woman to give them approval... and these men INSTANTLY come across as wussies. There's no faster way to kill attraction. Instead, project that you have killer confidence (see #8.) Lean back. Give her space. Act like you're not concerned at all about whether or not she's going to like you because, you know what? You shouldn't be.

3. Be Direct
Here's the thing... most guys use "trickery" and long-winded, boring conversation to get info about a woman. Don't do it. Don't make the mistake of trying to figure out some slick way to get her to share something about herself, or to go do something with you. If you want to know something, just ask her straight out. If you want to spend time with her, don't just ask for a date. Tell her that you're doing something later and that she's free to join you. Believe me, you'll take her aback and set yourself apart. Be classy as well as direct, and you'll get where you want to go much, much faster.

4. Use Her "Negativity" To Your Advantage
Women will often test you by turning the conversation in an intentionally negative direction, often by complaining about themselves. When they do, be ready for it: it's a GREAT opportunity for you. Instead of playing along (and sounding wussy) use Cocky and Funny to spark and ramp up attraction. Just take what she's saying and turn it up a notch. For example, if she says: "My dress makes me look too fat," just reply, "You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but..." If she says her hair's a mess, say, "Maybe you'll look better tomorrow." Point is: she's expecting you to be just another wussy and kiss up to her. When you DON'T, you'll immediately stand out from the crowd.

5. Get Her Number And Get Out
One of the best ways to make a woman sit up and take notice is to disappear after you get her number. So, early on in the conversation, ask her if she has e-mail. When she says yes, tell her: "Great, I've got a few things to do, but I'd really like to chat more with you later. Here, write your email down. Oh, and your number, too." You'll be shocked how many attractive women will respond positively. At that point... take the info and leave. If you do, you'll leave her wanting more instead of wanting to run for the door. Plus, you'll find the encounter so painlessly quick and effective, it'll instantly build you confidence to approach even more women.

6. Have A Game Plan
Feeling unprepared to start a conversation with a woman is the best way to blow it when you do. So it's a no-brainer... same as with the awkward silence, have a few topics to start the conversation in your back pocket as well, and mentally rehearse them. The ones that work best are the simplest: "Hey, what are you drinking?" "Hey, are you from around here?" I realize that these sound way too simple, but that's the beauty of it. They're so simple... and natural... that they're disarming. They don't come across as lame, canned "pickup lines," and they help you figure out quickly if the woman you're talking to might be receptive to you.

7. Avoid Awkward Silences
When a guys first starts talking to a woman (especially a very attractive one) he usually lets his emotions and insecurities get the best of him right off the bat. He starts to think, "I better impress her, and fast, or she won't give me a chance." The bad news is... you're right. The good news is... you can impress her the most just by avoiding awkward silence. If you begin to feel it happening, just keep things moving... but casually. Tell a funny story about something that happened to you when you were a kid. Make fun of famous people. Whatever. Have something ready and do it. It's got to be better than that painful, awkward silence.

8. Project Confidence
Imagine how you'd come across if you were the most confident guy on the planet. You'd seem so in control that you'd be in no rush. You'd never talk too fast or too much, since all of that screams "I'm a nervous wussy". You'd move, gesture and speak slowly and deliberately. You'd pause often, and ditch the anxious, twitchy gestures, laughs, ticks, etc. You'd never break eye contact unless a woman does first. All of this projects killer confidence, and you'll start to notice more women noticing you as you learn how to do it.

9. "Rehearse" Your Game Online
Come on... why risk blowing it with a woman live and in-person, when you can practice "rejection-free" all you want first? Go online and practice making sure you don't bore women with your normal, boring comments and normal, boring questions. Instead, start being direct. Showing confidence. Asking for numbers and telling women that you're swamped with a million messages from supermodels so they better act fast or you'll be gone. Master Cocky and Funny from the comfort of your keyboard, and you'll be much better at it when you try it in the "real world."

10. Improve Yourself
Are you approaching women with the best version of yourself? Somehow I doubt it. The sad truth is most guys don't take ANY time at all to improve themselves. Ever. But if you really want to get an attractive woman to notice you, you better be one of the few who stand out because he took the time to develop something uniquely interesting in himself. So get on it... Take classes. Read books. Exercise. See classic films. Start investing in yourself, and you'll be on the fast path to success with the women you really want.

I thought the information was honest and could work for some of those guys wondering "How to make a woman notice you". You have to stand out from the rest, and give it a try. You really have nothing to loose. I have found that funny works as well just don't make jokes about them instead joke about you. For example...think about the guy from the movie Hangover, he's getting all the chubby dudes laid now. Have fun, take risks, and don't look back.
The Man

Love, What Is It Good For?

"When love is not madness, it is not love." ~Pedro Calderon de la Barca

There is a reason why relationships fall apart and new ones are formed. Even in the worse of times there is a lesson to be learned. In some cases it takes many mistakes to see the light. But, even if you think you understand why you feel a certain or act out of character there will be a moment later on down the road where you once again start to question yourself and others for what happened many moons ago.
You may think the ex-files are securely locked and no matter how many times you try and play devil's advocate with yourself the same questions that were looming before still remain.
It's been said that once you stop caring and stop paying attention that a former great love will seek you out. Be cautious of their motives and ask yourself why you care.
In some cases you wonder what you ever saw in the ex to begin with. If you think this way then it never was love, just an expulsive purchase that you later returned.
Traits that you once thought were funny and cute are now annoying and humorous for very different reasons. A part of moving on from the person you once were and the people you once called friends and lovers is understanding your mistakes and accepting others for being cowardly, spineless, jackasses.
Not knowing the truth in some ways makes letting go of the past easier. But when the ghosts continues to attach themselves to your new life one starts to wonder just how juicy a story the missing chapter was.
I still hold out hope that one day I will get the answer to the question left unanswered. But, for now I'm thankful I never have.
Kate

Black Heart of Love

I hate coffee, olives, cherries, cranberries, whip cream, flan, mashed potatoes, children left unattended, soccer moms, mini vans, entry level European cars, walking designer billboards, the color pink, reality shows, dancing with the stars and mind numbing television and most importantly I hate roses, chocolate dipped strawberries, Tiffany's and Hallmark cards.
If you buy into the concept of Valentine's Day or are peer pressured into buying a present for your current flame please think outside the box. Maybe some women like the expected and most likely these same ladies are the ones who believe getting married is an achievement and suddenly instead of being called their real name they are now referred to as "the wife of..."
By now you probably figured out I'm not that type. So as most of America gets ready for the pink heart day I'll be sitting at the anti Valentine's Day table with a can of Red Bull and a bottle of Vodka and I swear this has nothing to do with the fact I'm currently single. I've never been one to ask my girlfriend to come to the bathroom with me or felt uncomfortable going out to eat or a movie by myself. Likewise, I've never bought into the idea that love should be expressed based on a calendar, but I'm in the minority.
Kate

Priceless

Somethings in life are priceless and this is one of them. We've been debating whether or not to continue writing on this blog after the one year anniversary. Life isn't the same anymore and it's becoming apparent that the writing bug is at times losing steam. I have learned a great deal from writing on here. Not only about myself, but about so-called friends and new partners in crime.
Writing about life, love and JSRs (Jackass Sewer Rats) helped me move on from the past and make peace with an unfinished past. But, now I feel I've lost my spark for the fight.
My life is no longer a projection of what I want people to think it is. It has over the last months become who I am. I wonder now if the path I've chosen to pursue would have been an option before Love Bites. I am so thankful for the overwhelming support and kind words from the growing number of followers. I feel so blessed and honored that people appreciate and can relate to my words. Especially since at times I can barely understand what I wrote the night before.
In recent weeks I feel we have let the ball drop and not put nearly as much effort or attention to the blog as we once did. For this I am sorry. I can only hope that you continue to follow us in the future and as we move to the next chapter of Love Bites with the addition of the websites and clothing line that you follow us there as well.
With Love,
Kate

Bowler of Trophies

Silly girl. Didn't you expect this would happen? You were a fool to believe anything had changed. Hadn't the past shown you just how good a liar he was? Is it was it is. But, instead of imagining the endless possibilities that could be going on right now take this as another lesson learned in love lost and found. Nothing, is as it seems.
Enjoy this moment it maybe the last quiet one left. Life is changing and you can no longer prevent it from crashing down. Where the road less traveled goes now is up to you and you alone. Continue to play the game just like everyone else around you. Stop questioning and keep pretending to be friends with your greatest enemies.
What was screamed in a fit of rage and frustration didn't magically go away. Nothing has changed and yet so much has. You know perfectly well what is going on around you. Remain calm and composed. The best is yet to come.
Summer

Tangled

The ending was in the making before we even said hello. If only I had recognized all the signs blinking and telling me to run away now before you get tangled up in a tale that doesn't end with a happy ending or a glass slipper.
It is always better to think before you speak. To over think and write pros and cons lists, to evaluate the situation and the people around you and then after you make your final decision you will realize just how selfish and wrong that choice was. It might haunt you for years or overtime you may come to realize it was the moment that defined who you would become.
I have had that moment and the moments thereafter are numbing and filled with a balloon boy idea of sublime happiness. Maybe it all falls apart again just as everything else has after a while or maybe, just maybe for once the puzzle effortlessly gets put together.
If we question people and why they do what they do we will never like the answer. It will never be correct. Sometimes the answer we want to hear is simply not in our partner’s vocabulary. The more we push, the further into the deep blue we float.
The smart ones know when to walk away before the gamble is too risky. Before they become emotionally attached. Before I becomes a we. I never did.
Summer

Phantom of The Opera

Each choice has a result. Some we regret, some we cherish, some that haunt us. Who knows what lies ahead in the days and months to come? If the magic eight ball or genie in a box could really tell the future many of life choices probably wouldn't have occurred. Sometimes we take a chance and photo shop ourselves in a world and a life that seems so perfect and ideal on the outside, but once inside the make believe turns out to be more like an episode from the real housewives franchise.
When we reveal the truth behind the facade we aren't greeted warmly anymore. It never was real to begin with so at least now it's the truth.
Some people come into our lives in a period of turmoil and take advantage of our weaknesses. Just when we think we found an alias in a world of frenemies and haters the door is shut again without an answer.
Accusations and threats fuming with love and hate are thrown out into the ring. Even after the fight is over the true war has just begun. If we understood our actions and those of others around us would we make the same choices so quickly? Would we question others motives more intensely? If we follow our heart and the road we travel down isn't welcoming have we failed or found a new ideal?
Kate