So I may have stuffed up big time. I want to protect myself. Protect myself from being hurt again. But maybe I am being too over protective. I think it has worked against me.
I have been seeing an amazing guy for about four months now. We started slow and over time we became more attached. And it has been great.He is completely different to any other guy I have met. We have feelings for each other. There is no denying that. Just ask the people who see us together. Lol.
But my problem is that I have been holding back my thoughts, my feelings and I guess in a way who I am because I am afraid of letting it all out there only to be hurt again. I have been there before. And had my heart torn to pieces. And I am shit scared about letting that happen again. The last one not only broke my heart but also the hearts of my family and friends. I have to protect them as well.
I am falling for this guy. I do know the last thing he would ever want to do is hurt me. He has the sweetest heart and soul. And he has opened my eyes up to many things. He has inspired me to do certain things in my life. Maybe I need to trust him with my heart and to be more open with him and I am willing to do that…
Aussie Gal
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Left of Center
I've been gone for awhile from the blog and enjoying life without having to worry about what semi personal detail I should expose. Much like learning to ride a bicycle I have gradually gained a new found confidence in myself and no longer need the training wheels. I've hit a few pot holes, fell down a bunch of times, but I keep getting back up and going out everyday with a fresh outlook on life.
I've missed a few birthdays and milestones, but the interest in our fragile existence surprisingly continues to multiple. I must admit I do enjoy being able to keep my private life, private, but I also miss feeling like I am part of something profound. Maybe one day I will write again on here, but for the time being I'm enjoying my seemingly normal life.
Where ever your travels take you I wish you the best and I hope that this one is "the one." But, if not there is always happiness left of center. Congratulations to all that have found love or at least a warm body to lay next to and most importantly congratulations to those who have not let their past mistakes define their existence.
Summer
I've missed a few birthdays and milestones, but the interest in our fragile existence surprisingly continues to multiple. I must admit I do enjoy being able to keep my private life, private, but I also miss feeling like I am part of something profound. Maybe one day I will write again on here, but for the time being I'm enjoying my seemingly normal life.
Where ever your travels take you I wish you the best and I hope that this one is "the one." But, if not there is always happiness left of center. Congratulations to all that have found love or at least a warm body to lay next to and most importantly congratulations to those who have not let their past mistakes define their existence.
Summer
Monday, April 11, 2011
Survivor
There maybe many more fish in the sea, but if you never fully allow yourself to be open to the idea of love and happiness than you will never find what you are seeking. At a certain point you must let go of your rules and checklists and stop taking the advice of others. Follow your heart. If you feel questions were left unanswered. Ask for an answer. If you like someone, tell them. Speak out of turn. Say what is on your mind. Don't create a world that is impossible to live in. What you hear may not be what you were wishing for, but hopefully it will give you some peace of mind.
We are edging closer to 43,000 Love Bites groupies. Pretty freakin' amazing especially considering that only one year ago there were just a handful of supporters of our wild and crazy experiment.
The price is far grander as are the stakes. Good thing we like to take risks and gamble away the fate of others. Let the real fun begin!
Kate
Survivor - Destiny's Child
(rather fitting at the moment. Don't you think?)
"Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better,
You thought that I'd be weak without ya,
But I'm stronger,
You thought that I'd be broke without ya,
But I'm richer,
You thought that I'd be sad without ya,
I laugh harder,
You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,
Now I'm wiser,
You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,
But I'm smarter,
You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without ya,
Sold nine million.
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
Thought I couldn't breathe without you,
I'm inhalin'
You thought I couldn't see without you,
Perfect vision,
You thought I couldn't last without ya,
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without ya,
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without ya,
But I'm on top,
Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop,
You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm still here,
Even in my years to come,
I'm still gon' be here.
I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine...
(I'm better than that)
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what)
After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity."
We are edging closer to 43,000 Love Bites groupies. Pretty freakin' amazing especially considering that only one year ago there were just a handful of supporters of our wild and crazy experiment.
The price is far grander as are the stakes. Good thing we like to take risks and gamble away the fate of others. Let the real fun begin!
Kate
Survivor - Destiny's Child
(rather fitting at the moment. Don't you think?)
"Now that you are out of my life,
I'm so much better,
You thought that I'd be weak without ya,
But I'm stronger,
You thought that I'd be broke without ya,
But I'm richer,
You thought that I'd be sad without ya,
I laugh harder,
You thought I wouldn't grow without ya,
Now I'm wiser,
You thought that I'd be helpless without ya,
But I'm smarter,
You thought that I'd be stressed without ya,
But I'm chillin'
You thought I wouldn't sell without ya,
Sold nine million.
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
Thought I couldn't breathe without you,
I'm inhalin'
You thought I couldn't see without you,
Perfect vision,
You thought I couldn't last without ya,
But I'm lastin'
You thought that I would die without ya,
But I'm livin'
Thought that I would fail without ya,
But I'm on top,
Though it would be over by now,
But it won't stop,
You thought that I would self-destruct,
But I'm still here,
Even in my years to come,
I'm still gon' be here.
I'm wishin' you the best,
Pray that you are blessed,
Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna blast you on the radio,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna lie on you or your family, yo,
(I'm better than that)
I'm not gonna hate you in the magazine...
(I'm better than that)
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what)
After all of the darkness and sadness,
Still comes happiness,
If I surround myself with positive things,
I'll gain prosperity."
Friday, April 8, 2011
Almost Married
I see there have been some talks about two people finding each other..Well, I guess I should step forward and tell you, IT'S ME!!! Let me first say, in order to truly understand why this has such big meaning, you need to read the earlier blogs. I have been "searching" for many years to find the one "perfect for me". I am the type that it either works, or it dosn't...I know exactly what I wanted, but never knew it actually exists! So many of us look and look, go on endless dates and end up just settling for what works. Let me say...I am a picky SOB and it takes something very special to catch my eye..She has not only caught my eye, she is a gift I always wanted, but never thought I would receive.
There are so many factors that go into determining whether or not the person you’re with is the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with. It’s not a decision that should be taken lightly, or that should be done without a considerable about of thought and internal preparation. I have learned through many experiences that we attract exactly what we are looking for at that time. If you're looking for "fun" that's all it will ever be. If you're looking for "sex", then sex will come to you as well...You can't change who you attract! We attract mirror images of ourselves, and history will repeat itself, until you find the power to change. Ever heard the saying "can't turn a hooker into a housewife"? well, most of us would love to have a experienced pornstar type woman who is a virgin, but com'on!! that will never happen! Everyone has a past, and many of us need to experience these things before our "gift" comes to us as well. You need to accept things as they are, never settle for something/someone who isn't your equal, and he/she will arrive
when you least expect it. As soon as we met, everything in my life lined up! I KNOW this is a higher power that has drawn us together. Many will think im full of shit, but when you have this internal feeling, you will know they are "the one". It can be mistaken sometimes, but you will just know. Words can not explain the feeling that runs throughout your body.
Here's where things get crazy: As we travel through life we always have a mental picture of what our future will look like. We look out five, ten, fifteen and sometimes even twenty or thirty years into our future and contemplate what our little worlds will look like. When I was single, I’d look out in to my future and see myself single throughout my mid-twenties, married and enjoying life in my late twenties and early 30′s, a parent in my 30′s and a grandparent somewhere in my 60′s. In all that projecting, the person I projected by my side was always some beautiful phantom of a woman whose face I could never quite discern because I had yet to meet her. That all changed the moment we spoke! When I imagined my future life, the face of the beautiful woman standing next to me in both my immediate and long term future was clear. It was her!!!, and there was nothing I could do to shake that. My dreams have now become a reality and I am on the
journey of forever.
So, how do you know when someone is the one? I guess it’s different for everyone.. for me, I just knew. She is just an amazing woman, everything I always wished for. Knowing all the shit I had to go through to find her, I would have done it a million times if my reward were the same.
The Man
There are so many factors that go into determining whether or not the person you’re with is the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with. It’s not a decision that should be taken lightly, or that should be done without a considerable about of thought and internal preparation. I have learned through many experiences that we attract exactly what we are looking for at that time. If you're looking for "fun" that's all it will ever be. If you're looking for "sex", then sex will come to you as well...You can't change who you attract! We attract mirror images of ourselves, and history will repeat itself, until you find the power to change. Ever heard the saying "can't turn a hooker into a housewife"? well, most of us would love to have a experienced pornstar type woman who is a virgin, but com'on!! that will never happen! Everyone has a past, and many of us need to experience these things before our "gift" comes to us as well. You need to accept things as they are, never settle for something/someone who isn't your equal, and he/she will arrive
when you least expect it. As soon as we met, everything in my life lined up! I KNOW this is a higher power that has drawn us together. Many will think im full of shit, but when you have this internal feeling, you will know they are "the one". It can be mistaken sometimes, but you will just know. Words can not explain the feeling that runs throughout your body.
Here's where things get crazy: As we travel through life we always have a mental picture of what our future will look like. We look out five, ten, fifteen and sometimes even twenty or thirty years into our future and contemplate what our little worlds will look like. When I was single, I’d look out in to my future and see myself single throughout my mid-twenties, married and enjoying life in my late twenties and early 30′s, a parent in my 30′s and a grandparent somewhere in my 60′s. In all that projecting, the person I projected by my side was always some beautiful phantom of a woman whose face I could never quite discern because I had yet to meet her. That all changed the moment we spoke! When I imagined my future life, the face of the beautiful woman standing next to me in both my immediate and long term future was clear. It was her!!!, and there was nothing I could do to shake that. My dreams have now become a reality and I am on the
journey of forever.
So, how do you know when someone is the one? I guess it’s different for everyone.. for me, I just knew. She is just an amazing woman, everything I always wished for. Knowing all the shit I had to go through to find her, I would have done it a million times if my reward were the same.
The Man
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Gypsy Kingdom
So many times we put our fate in the hands of a drunken fortune teller. We hold our breath for a pipe dream that expired before it was conceived. We forget the mistakes of our past because we want to believe this time will be different. But, it never is. Maybe in the end what we come to understand is nothing more than what we originally believed.
The carousel continues to spin long after the ride ended. The candy coated shell sits idle contemplating how to safety eject with the silly notion that we can cheat death and free fall to paradise.
The vision of home sweet home is what keeps us moving forward. What keeps us alive inside even when the wounds of the battle appear to have gotten the best of us.
Love Bites is celebrating it's first birthday today. It's been a surreal year and the real adventure is just beginning. We hope you stay along for the ride and bring along your super fabulous friends too.
Cheers y'all! Especially to my fellow partners in crime. Thanks for the inspiration, support and love. xoxo
With Love,
Kate
The carousel continues to spin long after the ride ended. The candy coated shell sits idle contemplating how to safety eject with the silly notion that we can cheat death and free fall to paradise.
The vision of home sweet home is what keeps us moving forward. What keeps us alive inside even when the wounds of the battle appear to have gotten the best of us.
Love Bites is celebrating it's first birthday today. It's been a surreal year and the real adventure is just beginning. We hope you stay along for the ride and bring along your super fabulous friends too.
Cheers y'all! Especially to my fellow partners in crime. Thanks for the inspiration, support and love. xoxo
With Love,
Kate
RIP Donny K
On Sunday morning I woke to some bad news… One of my old bosses of nine and a half years had passed away. Some people have facebooked their thoughts but this is my venue. He was not only my boss but a good friend. Completely unexpected. He went to sleep on Friday night and did not wake up. We were meant to catch up last weekend but I postponed it for other reasons. Now I feel bad. I missed my chance. We were then meant to see each other next weekend but….. But I look at the silver lining that as he wasn’t catching up with me he took the time to see his brother who he said he hadn’t seen in years. It’s more important that his brother got the chance to see him than me. He was a month away from his 60th. Still too young. Especially considering he ran on the beach every morning and marathons. I don’t want this blog to be depressing but more of a reality check. You never know when your time is up. And in some cases you aren’t given the opportunity to say goodbye. When I got the news I made sure I spoke to my sister and called my parents just to tell them that I loved them. I am organizing nights to see good friends who I haven’t seen since I left JSR.
Don’t let opportunities pass you by because you are scared of what might happen. Scared of what might not happen. Scared of differences. Life is full of risks... I guess that is what life is all about. What if that one thing you turned away from could have been the best thing for you? Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering or regretting it? As we all know on here Love & Life hurts us at one point or another. But it’s the fact that we pick ourselves up and continue on that journey. And we may get knocked down many times but eventually we will find happiness. We just have to be open to it….
RIP Donny K….
Aussie Gal
Don’t let opportunities pass you by because you are scared of what might happen. Scared of what might not happen. Scared of differences. Life is full of risks... I guess that is what life is all about. What if that one thing you turned away from could have been the best thing for you? Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering or regretting it? As we all know on here Love & Life hurts us at one point or another. But it’s the fact that we pick ourselves up and continue on that journey. And we may get knocked down many times but eventually we will find happiness. We just have to be open to it….
RIP Donny K….
Aussie Gal
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The Met
There will come a day when you look around and home is no longer a meditative place to rest or relax. The four walls that once enclosed love, hope and laughter have now been picked bone dry and are bleeding with hate and anger. This dance could continue for as long as you live or it can end with one final blow to the heart.
Every word and action is chopped and spit out with opera like emotion and a killer cold reaction. Will you ever love again? Will you ever trust again? Will you ever be free?
You start to wonder if any of your memories from happier times were ever real because to effortlessly walk away and forget love well means it never was love to begin with. Say what you want, but it's a bit of a one sided argument when everything not perfect about the other is looked over and everything else is criticized and bashed. It may have hurt at one point, but now it's just ammunition for my jet setting heart to pack up and move as far as away from this fucked up, bull shit existence presently called life.
Kate
Every word and action is chopped and spit out with opera like emotion and a killer cold reaction. Will you ever love again? Will you ever trust again? Will you ever be free?
You start to wonder if any of your memories from happier times were ever real because to effortlessly walk away and forget love well means it never was love to begin with. Say what you want, but it's a bit of a one sided argument when everything not perfect about the other is looked over and everything else is criticized and bashed. It may have hurt at one point, but now it's just ammunition for my jet setting heart to pack up and move as far as away from this fucked up, bull shit existence presently called life.
Kate
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