Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Los Angeles Men

It’s hard to meet new people anywhere, but Los Angeles is a city where your car is a second home. Going out takes planning, taxis are hard to find, public transportation is a joke and drunk driving is common. Dating someone who lives 10 miles away means driving at least forty minutes, add in traffic, it could take more than an hour.

Finding a guy in LA who likes you just the way you are is like going to Cabo to ski. It’s fucking impossible!!! There are exceptions, but they seem to always have more baggage than any metrosexual hipster struggling actor who doesn’t realize he is not famous.

The exceptions:

1.) Divorced with kids – They will commit, but they have major baggage. Kids, an ex-wife, they usually live in the suburbs to be closer to their kid(s). Most of their free time if not all revolves around the kid(s). How well does he get along with the ex? Why did they break up?

2.) Never married, no kids, 35 or older (for some reason they usually live in Santa Monica and in the same apartment since college) – They are very nice and polite, usually a bit boring, but they have major commitment issues. Their longest relationship is usually less than 2 years or more than 4 years. Run away immediately! Don’t believe the line “I just haven’t met the one.” He probably did meet her, they are still friends, he still loves her and he regrets not proposing to her because he hasn’t met someone like her since (including you).

3.)Paper Perfect – He’s not bad looking, great chemistry, is financially stable, has a house, no kids, but you aren’t attracted to him and just want to be friends. He’s totally into you and therefore you can’t be friends. 

If he seems to good to be true, he will break your heart.

Trust your first impression.

If you go dutch before monogamy, he’s either poor, cheap or an asshole. Sometimes all three.

I have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding a good man.

Wish me luck.


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Welcome to Hollywood

I hadn’t completely given up on love yet, so six months ago after breaking up with my fiancĂ© (it would take a lifetime to explain why, so I won’t), I followed my heart and moved across the country to Los Angeles, the place where dreams come true and love is in the air, or so I thought. 

A few stories about our relationship were documented over the years on the Love Bites blog. We were on and off for eight years which like most relationships ended quite horribly. Like Taylor Swift and any one of her exes we too are never ever getting back together.

Dating in Los Angeles is like an urban myth and the men here are all characters; some good, some bad and some so terrible that I'm seriously considering never dating again. 

My first night in LA, my bff Summer (She’s back in LA now) took me out to Bar Marmont which is a short walk from the infamous Chateau Marmont on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood. The mantra of Bar Marmont is “I am young, I am cool and damn it, people want to be me!” which is a pretty spot on description of the place. On the weekends you never know who you might see or meet.  

Every time I go here I always end up with hilarious stories, but never a second date. That night was no exception. At 1am, I started a conversation with a divorced, 42 year old, good-looking guy who had a teenager daughter. 

Why is it that men will tell you almost all of their baggage in five minutes if you are seating next to them at a bar, but on a proper date or during daytime hours they reveal nothing? 

And why do women think that their honesty deserves a reward?

Turned out the guy was a helicopter stunt man who worked on a bunch of Tom Cruise movies.  We exchanged numbers and a few nights late I went to a poker party he was hosting at a friend’s house in the valley. I should have known better when he told me it was 420 friendly. Turned out it was all drug friendly. I’m not any drug friendly.

In between bartending, setting up lines of cocaine on the kitchen counter and keeping an eye on the surveillance cameras recording activity around the house, because the party was totally illegal, he told me he was drug dealer at night. Just in case I hadn't figured that out already. Needless to say I left after an house and never heard from him again.

To read more stories about my dating experiences in LA, check out my new blog, Dating Los Angeles, at http://athousandfirstdates.blogspot.com.


Thursday, January 10, 2013

New Year. New City. Still Single.

   I must apologize it's been nearly a year since I last wrote. I met a guy six months ago who for the first time in years made me feel special. Just the fact that I'm saying this a milestone. He is a great catch, almost everything I unknowingly wished for in my perfect match. Yet, we were polar opposites when it came to decisions on just about anything. Sadly we broke up shortly before the holidays.

   I suppose it was a mutual breakup, except for the being dumped via text part. Which I found even more hurtful being that it right before the holidays and I recently moved to a new city where the only people I had been socializing with were his friends.

   Long story short, I'm single again and almost 31!! and it turns out I've moved to the city with the worst chances of finding love or even Mr. Right Now. So, as part of my standard New Year's resolution to workout more and eat healthier,  I've started a new blog called - Dating Los Angeles @ http://athousandfirstdates.blogspot.com. If I haven't found Mr. Right after 1,000 dates I'll except my fate as an old cat lady living in a house of shoes.

 Happy New Year y'all!!!