Second Chances

Wanted to see the softer side of me? Well, here goes a taste... About a year ago, I met someone amazing, spent a little over a month dating and enjoying every moment. It ended abruptly and I had no idea what happened.

(Check out the December 2010 archives for blog titles - Blackout and Another One Bites the Dust.)

I will refresh some of you a little: I met someone who "did it" for me and I mean in every way. I woke up thinking about her, constantly on my mind during the day, and before closing my eyes, it was her texts wishing me "sweet dreams". Of my last 3 years of dating, I have only met 3 that gave me a feeling close to this. And for those who don't know, I went on too many dates to recover the thoughts, and feelings she brought out in me. She was amazing (to say the least).. We went out many times, and did all the things I expected a true relationship to blossom... But one night it all ended! I awoke with an empty, lost feeling, and never knew what happened until yesterday. I, out of the blue (after over a year) wrote a email to her.

"Hey there.. This may sound crazy, but at this point it really wouldn't matter if it does. It's weird, but I still think about you from time to time. Maybe cuz I still have the Christmas presents I bought for you, or the fact that you're the coolest person/woman I met in a very long time. Either way, I hope all is well, and I'm truly sorry for whatever happened between us. I still have no clue, (and that sucks) especially cuz I was really happy with you. I just wanted to say hi, hope you're doing good, and it would be great to talk,if even only as friends."

If she only knew the struggles and hardships of even getting close to someone as me and her were, maybe she'd understand. But she is somewhat like me, we scare off easily at the beginnings of relationships. It takes time for certain words, sayings, and things to be done. If these things are done before the feelings are mutual, poof!!!! I'm gone!!. I'm not here to drag things out longer than necessary. So now it's a waiting game and somewhat like walking on a frozen lake until I know it's "safe" again.

So back to "what happened"... We went out one night, had way too many drinks, and that's all I remember..... Not even a word, text, or email afterwards. I was left clueless, and knowing she was more than a fling, I was crushed! After her I dated plenty, and never felt that way again, until yesterday. She actually responded!! I was like a kid in a candy store.. And now texts and coming back slowly but at least they're coming.. She told me, that I got way too wasted and after having to drive me home, it brought feeling of a horrible marriage and that she wanted no part of it. She was sorry for not leting me know what happened, but it was better. It was just as hard for her to explain. She was done with that kind of lifestyle, and it hurt her just as much.

So, sometimes we need to go through these hard times, and tests, in order to appreciate what's right in front of us. After tasting that feeling, I damn sure know I'm not gonna screw it up again.

The Man

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