Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Nutter Butter

I must be strong. I must not cave in now and end up looking like a desperate nut. Although it might be too late. I already have accomplished acting like a crazy bitch. But, in my defense I had every right to keep questioning. If my actions and words are now being considered sticks and stones I really don't know what to say.
You stopped writing on here many moons ago and apparently lost interest in my words too. Why you now suddenly find the need to catch up on the story of my life puzzles me.
I am just as disappointed as you are. The reaction I got from you is far from what I had expected. I can no longer pour my heart out to a deaf audience.
So I'm going to laugh at my own expense. I seem to be the symbol of everything not to do in a relationship if you have hopes of staying in a relationship. I walk a fine line these days chasing someone who is becoming a ghost while trying to maintain an exterior of a successful and fabulous woman. Of course I must point out there is much about my personal life I have omitted from discussing on here.
There is a pattern I see developing, jumping from one seemingly normal guy (who later broke my heart) to another seemingly normal guy (who also betrayed me). However, this time around I have to wonder who is really to blame for the fall out.
Some people date for years before discussing the M word. So why after only a few months did I become so attached and serious about a guy I hardly knew?
Summer

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